Health & wellbeing
Families and friends of missing persons often speak about feelings of fear, anger, guilt, blame, frustration, ambiguity and isolation. While some people may not experience all of these emotions, it is important to recognise that these responses are ordinary reactions to an extraordinary situation.
The following information may be helpful for families and friends of missing persons.
Emotions
- Crying, sleeplessness, bad dreams, moodiness, confusion, lack of appetite, loss of concentration, low tolerance and angry outbursts are just some of the descriptions provided by families and friends faced with the uncertainty that comes with having someone missing.
Communicating with others
- It may be beneficial for families and friends of missing persons to try and talk to someone about how they are feeling. Those people outside the situation can sometimes feel more helpless if they don’t know what is needed from them.
- Feelings of ambivalence, hurt, anger, frustration or sadness may wish to be communicated to a trusted friend, relative, counsellor or confidante.
- It is challenging to live with uncertainty and seeking professional may help provide additional strength.
Taking care of each other
- Research suggests that for every missing person, another twelve people are affected. It is important to acknowledge that each person may affected in their own way.
- Children and teenagers may need to talk about their feelings, and can sometimes be afraid of upsetting their parents, especially if a sibling is missing.
- Children often show feelings through their behaviour in times of stress. It is important to encourage young people to talk openly.
- Arranging a group of friends, neighbours, relatives or colleagues may help keeping up with day-to-day activities.
One day at a time
- Families and friends of missing persons should try to take one day at a time, and avoid making any significant life changes. Personal judgment may be affected by having a loved one missing.
- It is helpful to keep to a normal routine in a daily schedule.
Professional help
- If support is needed on an ongoing basis, families and friends should not hesitate in contacting a counsellor, doctor, natural therapy practitioner or other qualified professional. Sometimes taking time to speak in a safe environment about how things are going, can give those the strength to keep going.
- A list of counselling services and providers outlines some of the support services available. Other counselling services and providers may be referred by investigating police officers, General Practitioners or Community Health Centres.
- If a loved one is located and returns home, families and friends may consider obtaining professional counselling, mediation or reconciliation to help prevent the situation recurring. Additional support may also be useful if the person was a victim of a crime whilst they were missing. This might help to understand their experience and provide them with support.